Froloaf, Floatitar and Stamcoast

[Mr. Irreverent]

I love you guys.

[Crockett77]

Nikoli was a Romanian guy who worked for me for about 3 years in the middle 80's and never missed a day, never took vacation. Every Thursday myself, Nik and some other guys would hit whatever bar that was closest to our jobsite at that time, this was a ritual.

During a rather long project we got to know the bartenders, waitresses and other folks who worked or drank at this one bar. Then one night the phone rings, it’s for Nik. After some small talk he stands up and says to everybody, “He everybody I just had a Boy, he’s fine now who’s time is it to buy?”

Then one Wednesday about 3 months later Nik fails to show up for work. I call his house, no answer. I page him, no return call. There was something wrong, the guy never missed.

So after many calls his wife finally calls me back, “Nik will be at work tomorrow, family problem”. I think to myself what could have kept the guy away from work, he missed the birth of his 3rd child to go to work then hit the bar.

Nik shows up to work the next day with a huge knot on his forehead. I ask him WTF, he says “nothing, Let me go back to work”. All day this goes on. Finally at the bar he confesses.

He says…
“Before I left for work I had to take a SH**, but the fu**er wouldn’t come out. So I pushed like he** and then I got dizzy, fell forward and bashed my head on the bathtub in front of me. I got knocked out cold.”

“My wife cannot open the door. She weigh 300 fu**ing pounds and cannot open the door because I fell against it. So you know what the fat bit** does? She calls 911, fu**ing 911. These fu**ers show up at my house and try to open the door, but can’t because I guess I fell against it and I was wedged between the door and the fu**ing toilet. Then they cut a hole in my door to see me, then fu** the door up more to make a hole to climb into the bathroom to wake me up.”

“So then I wake up to see my bathroom door all fu**ed up, a piece of sh** sticking out of my a**, huge knot on my forehead and a fu**ing fireman standing next to me. The next thing I know they take me to the hosipital run tests find nothing and let me go home.”

So of course I ask the question, “Nik why didn’t you just leave then when you had to take a sh** just find a place off the freeway and go” In true fashion Nik responds, “That is what I used to do but after the 3rd time the cops busted me for taking a sh** on side the Freeway the judge said he would send me to jail if I did it again.”

[beingbobbyorr]

Originally Posted by RockPile

Reminds me of Daryl Hannah in Blade Runner.

[Anze's Mom]

Today one of my second grader A hit second grader b with second grader b's umbrella.. how, as second grader b, do you let that happen?!

[Kat19]

[CBGB]