PuckMonkey

I was there. I saw the whole thing. I run a catering service for the porn industry in my spare time (Fluffer Nutters Craft Service in Van Nuys. Give us a call.), and I had to sit through the entire ordeal. First off, can you say "Prima Donna"? Nobody else on the set had a problem doing that thing with the frozen Butterfinger bars, but no, Mr. "I'm not inserting anything not filled with caramel anywhere" had a big hissy fit and started going on and on about "creative control...

Yo, douchebag with the Honda that came equipped with an anti-lock braking system. Yeah, you... I'm talking to you. Gotta minute? I wanna talk to you about something...

OK. So driving up to a STOP sign at 50-miles per hour and applying the brakes 5 feet before you need to stop - just because you can - makes you a douche. You see, I'm carrying precious cargo in my vehicle. Me. And when I see you flying towards the STOP sign while talking on the phone and sipping your Starbucks, I have...

Look, I'm not stupid. I see you looking at other blogs. Sure, you're all nice and sweet and snuggly when you're on my blog - typing sweet nothings into my ear, telling me I'm the only one. But I'm not stupid. I saw what you posted on the comments of PITA's blog. Yeah, I saw it. So who is this "Royal PITA", huh? Is that your new favorite blog? My blog not good enough for you anymore? What, I don't give you what you want? C'mon, just talk to me. We can work this out, but you just need to...

I became a blogger because it seems to be the easiest way to meet people. You write crap about something that has affected your crappy life, and you hope that some crappy people will write crappy comments about your crappy blog. When this happens enough times, you begin to accumulate some enemies, because frankly, who cares what JOEGMAN515 has to say about my favorite guacamole mix, and was it really necessary that he be a complete douche about it?... But it is in the process of cyber-harrassing...

My almost two year old son speaks English, Chinese (Cantonese with a spattering of Mandarin), a bit of German, and very fluent Spanish. The Spanish he learned from his nanny who emigrated to the US in the 60's with her family. He loves her dearly, and she him. But, I also have a mini-orchard of lime trees in my back yard, and I drink a lot of freshly brewed iced-tea (I love the stuff, but don't get me started). I enjoy a bit of fresh lemon in my fresh iced-tea, so there are always lemons about the...